Dear Eisley

I feel like maybe I should try to make up for the last 5 years and never having done this before, but I think for now I'll just start from now. Maybe I'll go back sometime later.
Right now you are just over 5 years old and the absolute light of my life. You make me smile, laugh, cry, and yell almost every day and I wouldn't have it any other way. You are strong willed. You are dramatic. You are sweet. You are hyper.
Right now you are going through a phase where you are not confident in yourself and that is really hard for me. To me you are capable of everything and anything. I wish I knew a way to make you understand that. You are so smart and so strong and so capable. I always thought you'd be able to accomplish anything because you always seemed like such a confident little girl. Like you could take on the world. Seeing you this way is so hard and I hope that God will guide me and show me the best way to help you through this.
You are also very strong willed. You are defiant. I try not to see this as a bad thing, although it is very frustrating at times. I don't give in to you because I know what's best for you, but you sure give me a fight. I hope you are this way when you are older in situations in your life because it will certainly come in handy. Being this hard headed will be a good thing one day.
Most of all, I love you. I do everything I do because I love you. I'm a "mean mommy" because I love you. I pray that one day you will understand that I tell you no because I love you, that I discipline you because I love you.

All my love,

Mommy

pressure

I feel an overwhelming pressure on me in so many areas of my life. So, to relieve a little of that pressure, I'm going to start trying to write out my feelings here at least once a week. I'd like to say I could commit to once a day, but I don't know. I want to have more concentrated posts, about what I'm dealing with in my head at that very moment, or that day. We will see. Maybe one day I'll become a "real" blogger.
Ha. Who am I kidding? I'm terrible at writing. Or coming up with ideas. This is going to be more of a diary, and hopefully it'll be somewhat therapeutic for me.

I also want to have a once a week "Dear Eisley" post. Yes she's 5 years old, but I guess it's never too late to start right?? RIGHT?

Well, here are my sort of promises to myself. Lets hope I can keep them.